Mommy and The Brain

Last night I heard myself say, "Why am I even here?". I was frustrated that no one was listening. 

But I'm a mom. There are at least a few million meme's out there about no one listening to Moms until they (insert "funny" emotional/physical/verbal explosion here) right? You've seen them. And moms across the world nod and smile to themselves while they click {Like}, or click a heart in solidarity of sisterhood. "I'm here for you Sister! We stand strong together in our frustration of being ignored, unappreciated and mostly invisible." 

But are we really standing together? 

Are we really supporting one another by laughing at the problem. I guess sometimes we are. Because at times we feel like all we can do is laugh, or we'll dissolve into oblivion. 

But is appreciating the problem the same as supporting? I don't know. I'm asking. 

There is a part of me that is glad the memes are there, I guess. Because yeah, I feel a little less alone knowing that I'm not the only invisible Mom out there. 

But I am the only invisible Mom in here, and it's lonely as shit.

That being said, you may notice my last blog post is dated over two years ago. Where have I been? What have I been doing?

Depends on who you ask, I guess.

But I'll give you my side. 

I've been right here. And yet, at the same time I've been very lost and afraid and not here at all.

I have anxiety, depression, and debilitating attention deficit disorder. Yes, there are funny memes about all of these as well. Depending on the day I may raise my eyebrows, smirk, click {Like} and move on, or I won't even have the energy/desire/will to do that.

I've retreated into a scary and dark place, all the while trying to smile and show up to volunteer shifts and put on a happy and strong face at school events and meetings. When I can muster the strength to emerge, its terrifying and exhausting and I come running home to hide again. 

But I'm on medication, and some days I'm OK. Some days I can handle doing the laundry, making a pot of coffee, watching the news. Other days I can't, so I must have done something wrong to cause this adverse reaction. I'm ON medication. It's supposed to work. I just have to wait another day. I'm sure it will work tomorrow. I'll feel OK tomorrow. I can do it tomorrow. I can catch up, make it all better and do it all ... tomorrow.

Two years of tomorrows have come and gone. I've lost friends, jobs, hobbies, interests, and most recently, almost our house and dog. 

If you've experienced it or studied it, anxiety and depression can have marvelous reactions to medication. There are many many kinds of medications out there, but they all require a build-up of the medication to become effective. It's not like a Tylenol where you take it and in 30-45 minutes you feel better. They don't work like that. And again, every BODY is different. What works for you may not be what works for your cousin, but what does work for your cousin could be what works for your neighbor. Finding the right medication can take years because of the amount of time needed to wait for the dosage to regulate and for your chemistry to react to it. But if it doesn't work, then you have to wean off of it in order to start another one. We're told to wait about 6 weeks to feel the full effect of a new medication. Two weeks weaning off of one that may not have worked, six more weeks waiting to see if this new one works... repeat. Again. Then again. Then maybe we feel a slight change. And we've been in the dark for so long that this glimmer of hope, this tiny spark, has allowed us to hope. There might be something here, so lets not change this one, lets ride it out a little longer. Up the dosage, make other small lifestyle changes, it may really work.

Two years of waiting for that spark to come again. It was there. It was right there. That one day I could honest to God smile at something that brought me joy. Or was it a day? Was it really a dream? Was it really there at all? Was I just so tired of not feeling good that I imagined I did in an effort to MAKE myself feel better?

My Aunt died last month. She too suffered from depression and anxiety, but she was always so full of light and a magical sparkle that when she began to slip away, I retreated from her. I stopped emailing her, stopped answering the phone when she called, and couldn't bring myself to call her  back when she left voicemails asking to talk to her "Little Carter", even though I was taller that her by the time I was 10. I kept thinking she was the light and magic that forever made everything OK, so if her light was going out, there was no way I could bear to see it, hear it, acknowledge it. She'd get better, then I could lean on her again. But she didn't get better. She got worse. She drank vodka all day, and her sweet little body just couldn't process the chemicals any longer and it shut down. Her brothers, my father and uncle, tried to grab her on the way down, but she was too tired to hold on. 

Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain both committed suicide recently, making news headlines around the world. We again are reminded that depression, anxiety and other forms of mental illness are all around us. Fame, money, notoriety, fancy clothes, Oscars and Emmy's, and/or starring roles in movies and TV shows don't make us immune. Pictures of Robin Williams are back in the news as well.

Aunt Sister's suicide was slow and painful and not mainstream news, but it was enough for me to realize the medicine I've been waiting to kick in again and show me that spark that I saw that one day may not be the right one for me after all.

I had made a few appointments with my Dr to discuss my medications, but something would come up and I'd cancel my appointment and forget to reschedule. A few weeks before Aunt Sister died, she "missed" an appointment too. By the time she went to the Dr, it was ultimately too late. I don't know what exactly happened, but I know she went back home with what I understand to be "anti convulsion" medication, and her estranged husband was to be by her side to administer them if/when needed. There are bits and pieces of the following week that I was told, but not sure what all is real, or third party interpretation, or purely made-up. But regardless, I called my Dr, made an appointment and WENT. 

Over the past two weeks I have been weaning off of my "old" medication and this morning I started my "new" one. It will be a few weeks before I can tell if anything is better, but I can tell already that coming off of the old one has improved things already.  And I'm able to write again. I'm here, in front of my computer spilling my guts on what I think and feel.

Also within those two weeks, a friend invited me over out of the blue. "Lets go get drinks, or grab lunch, or just come over for s'mores", she said. Then she told me she'd noticed I'd been withdrawn for the past two YEARS. She hadn't thought I wanted to talk about it, so she'd left me alone, but saw something I posted on FB and realized I was ready to talk, so she jumped back in with two feet. 

WHAT?!?! I'm NOT invisible? There is someone who gives a shit?!?! What? How? When? Where? I'm so confused. I've been living in this hole, not letting anyone in, pushing everyone away, thinking no one cared or noticed I was gone, and low and behold, someone was standing there at the gate waiting for the the whole time.

I mentioned to another friend that this friend had said she'd noticed me withdrawing over the past two years, and this second friend said, "Yes! I've seen that too!" Again ... WHAT?!?! ANOTHER friend has missed me? How could this be? I was sure no one cared. Sure of it. But ... nope. They were right here the whole time. One literally Right. Next. Door. 

Recall

Yesterday, Patrick and I finally took the Pilot to the local Honda dealer to get the recalled airbag replaced.  This is a true (Lord, I wish it were a joke) account of our morning at Honda Koons of Manassas.

First of all, getting into the dealership is a miraculous feat unto itself. The only way to get into it from the main road is via a driveway/road that is not only not labeled, but one of three unlabeled "drives" within a few yards of one another in a strip of road about a quarter of a mile long located between a large intersection, a gas station, and the on-ramps to one of the biggest highways leading into Washington DC.

Then, upon getting into the area of the dealership, there is no exterior signage directing you towards the "Service Department". So I park in the Customer Parking spot in the front and get out of the car. A man sees me pull up and park, and damn near pees himself trying to get to me. A woman, alone, in a Honda Pilot pulling up to a Honda dealership! Bless his heart, he was seeing dollar signs and commission galore. A repeat customer! A woman! She'll buy from me and pay anything I want as long as I have the right color and a cup holder for her Starbucks! That's all women care about when buying a car.

So, Mr. BIG SMILE comes out, walks over to me while I'm getting out. I smile and say, "Hi. I have an appointment to get my airbag replaced."

Poor thing is so deflated all he can manage is a slight eye-roll (I think he was trying to suppress it but it was so strong, a little just had to squeak out) and to indicate with a head tilt and finger point over his shoulder before uttering something about me needing to go around back.  I smile and thank him and start to get back in the car. Mind you, I have my purse, my water bottle, and my coffee all with me, which I'm now juggling to get back in the car with me without spilling. As I'm doing this, not only does he not offer to help or at least hold the door for me, but he actually says, "Or I would love to sell you a brand new one." To which I laughed, snorted actually, and said, "Yeah! I'm sure you would!" Then he reaches into his pocket and pulls out his business card to hand me.  AS I'M ALREADY JUGGLING THREE THINGS AND MY CAR DOOR THAT'S CLOSING BECAUSE OF THE SLIGHT INCLINE IN THE PARKING LOT. Jackweasle then stands there holding out his card as I manage to get back in without spilling anything, and reopen my door so I can take his card.

So ... back in the car, Patrick has parked the Jeep and gets in the Pilot with me and we drive around to the unmarked service area where there are three bay doors each with signage saying to pull up and door will automatically open.  OK. That's nice, but does that pertain to me? Is that info for the mechanics? The customers? The Almighty? I can't tell. There are also no signs saying "Service/Repair Parking Customers" or anything of the like. So I find one parking spot, pull in, park, get my purse, water bottle, and coffee, and get back out of the pilot. Use the human-access main door to enter said Service area. We were very sweetly greeted by the service staff. I said that I was here to get the airbag replaced, and they said to pull on up to the bay door, it will open, and I can pull in to get checked in.

O.
K.

Wouldn't it have been kind to have this written on a sign outside? Maybe?

So ... I get back in the car, again juggling my purse, my water, my coffee, OH, AND MY KEYS this time, because I was thinking I was going to give my keys to the mechanic to drive my car into the bay to do the repairs.

I drive up to the first of the three bay doors. It opens just like it said it would. I drive in and then over to the two men directing me to the second lane. Now I think ... do I pick everything up again? Is this the last place I need to put my car? Do I need to do my own replacement too? Upon getting out, there is a man standing with my husband with a clip board getting the final information. He's very nice and seems very willing to help ... my husband. I lost count, but I do believe it was at least three times during the entire process that my sweet husband said, "Ask her. It's her car." to which seemingly shocked and awed the people there. WHAT?!?! A woman who OWNS a car? How is this even possible?

So, the back and forth of what all we needed done, asking Patrick, me answering, asking Patrick again, me answering until he had all his notes completed and we thanked them and walked through the office into the show room to take a look a the newest Honda lineup.

Quick back-story on me ... the first car I ever bought with my own money was an '88 Accord. Before that I had an '81 Accord that was my first love. Named Arthur (after Arthur Dent of Hitchhikers Guide) when my mom bent the fender when it was originally her car. Arthur then became mine, and I'm not sure there will ever be a love affair as pure as my love for Arthur. In fact, I fully believe the spirit of Arthur is in every car I own. Arthur is my protective chariot. He cares for me, protects me and now my babies with me, and I protect him. OK ... so, that being said, There was a time when I could tell you the year of the Honda by the body style.

Even further back in the back story, before I was driving Original Arthur, I had a VW Karmann Ghia with severe electrical malfunctions. I got the Chilton and rewired the entire car by myself.  I'm not new to car ownership or repair. If I could get a Bondo scented perfume, I'd probably wear it.

Out of the seven cars I can claim to have been "mine" in the past 30 years, two were VW (a bug before the Ghia), then my '81 Accord, then my '88 accord, then a brand new (my first and only brand new car EVER) 2000 Jeep Cherokee Sport, then back to a Honda (Odyssey this time), and finally to my current love, my 2006 Honda Pilot.

So again, I hope I have somewhat established that I love Honda's. I know Honda's. My family, as a collective, have owned and currently own more Honda's than I feel like trying to count right now.

This brings us back up to yesterday's story. Thank you for sticking with me through that side-bar.

We walk through the office and into the showroom to see the new Honda Lineup.

There are only four or five cars in the show room. No big deal, Honda's are wicked popular I know they are snapped up as soon as they are available. So we look at the cars in the showroom, then venture outside to see if we can find a new Ridgeline or Pilot.

And yes, we were like chum to the sales sharks in the showroom. Polite smiles and "We're just waiting for our Pilot's airbag to be replaced" seemed to happily calm the feeding frenzy inside.

Outside we go. Another salesman materializes at our side and he asks what he can help us with. I told him I wanted to see the new Pilot or the new Ridgeline. He very nicely told us that they didn't have any Pilots, that they only get three a month, and they are sold practically as soon as they are on the lot. He could order one for us (umhum, I'm sure you could) or we could call to see when the next shipment would be in and we could come look then. About the Ridgeline, we're told that he's "just as much in the dark about that as we are" again instilling much confidence in your product knowledge.

No no ... it gets better. Each time "I" ask him about a vehicle, he looks at Patrick to answer. I then decided to really floor him and I asked him if Honda was in the process of making another convertible. He honestly looks like I've spoken Swahili. He repeats the word ... "Convertible"  as if trying to process it's meaning. Then says, "No. But we have the new Civics." (long pause ...) I think I must have blinked a few times and then given him an "oh, bless your sweet heart" look because he looked down at the ground and said, "Yeah, but they aren't convertibles."  Patrick turned around to not laugh, but the sales man wasn't discouraged! I wanted to be sure we knew that he knew what he was talking about! "Oh, but Honda IS coming out with an alternative fuel cell car!" This was directed at Patrick again, because, what the Hell would "I" know about alternative fuel cells. In unison, Patrick and I say, "Oh, OK. That's cool." And ... No lie, sweet sales man says, "Yeah. It's called ... um ... the civic LX-P ... Oh, no, wait, that's not it, it's um .. the ... awe man, I can't remember."

So we smile real big again and say we're going to just wander around and look at what's on the lot.

Pickin's were pretty slim out on the lot. Again, understandable with Honda's resale records/statistics. This dealership is attached to a GMC dealer too, and the used cars share the same lot, so we moseyed on over to the other side of the lot looking here and there at a few random selections. not impressed, we head back towards the Jeep to go run errands etc while the Pilot is being repaired.

We notice a Jeep Wrangler with a sticker in the window about all of it's stats, but no price. Like clockwork, another salesman materializes and asks if we need any help. I ask about the price of the Wrangler, and he sweetly smiles and walks over to the vehicle to look at the sticker, because clearly I'm too dumb to be able to read it. But what is this? There is no price on it. He whips out his handy tablet and does some very important scurrying, then looks puzzled and tells us that it's not in their database yet.  "OK. No problem. Thanks anyway." we say. He instantly perks up, like he's just completely had the past three minutes of his life erased from his mind and cheerfully says, "OK! Let me know if you have any questions!"

Patrick and I stifle our laugh as we thank him again, turn and head back to our Cherokee to leave. We look at each other and laugh about the fact that no one on the entire lot could answer any questions we had.

The mechanic doing the work on my baby called to double check what else we wanted him to look at (our key fobs needed things and I wanted to check on updating the GPS) and he told me that a headlamp was out and the brakes needed to be replaced soon. He was VERY nice. I OK'd the headlight replacement and thanked him for the update on the brakes but said not now. He told me i needed to get online to buy the GPS update from Honda directly. Lastly, he told me about the $180.00 replacement charge for the fob, and after I recovered from the guttural explosion of expletives that spewed from me, I told him that wasn't necessary. He then very sweetly offered to take the working parts from one and put them into the other to make one key and fob that worked instead of two that don't. I asked about the charge for that, and he said he'd do it no charge. WOOHOO! Thank you Chris from Koons!

I finally get the call from Chris from Koons letting me know my baby is all set, and we go pick him up. Arthur 5, not Chris. The airbag replacement was a recall, so no cost to us, the headlamp was about $20.00, the labor was about $10.00, so for about $30.00 I have a new airbag that won't send shards of plastic and metal into my jugular upon impact, a working key and fob, and both headlights. OH! AND a complementary car wash!  Not too shabby, I'd say.

So all-in-all, I'm very pleased with the service and work performed at Koons Honda Manassas. And really the sales team gave me a great story to tell, so I thank them too. Had I been in the market to buy, this story would not be so lighthearted, as I would still be fuming over the lack of product knowledge, but as it stands now, a nice morning spent with My Honey and my sweet Arthur is happily awaiting our next adventure.

New things in the Home Store

Hi.

I've spent a few hours today adding new things to The Saucy Dish Home Store.

I can't tell you how much fun its been making, creating, and designing things for the store, for my friends, and for my family.  And there are still more goodies to come. I'm working on some lamps, more wearable goods, and that's just the beginning.

If there is anything specific you would like to see in the shop, or in your own home, let me know. I love custom orders, love making things, and love making people happy.

Let me know what you think. I appreciate the feedback.

Thanks ... and stay saucy.

PS ... A sneak peak of new things to come...

Stadium Blankets

Here's a sneak peak of my Honey's New York Giants Stadium Blanket. 

This yarn is A-Mazing!! Super soft and a little shimmery. But still really manly, of course. Machine washable and dryable so beer, mustard, cheese-whiz, and/or anything else that gets dropped on it, spilled on it, or that it gets dropped in or stepped on can all come clean in the wash. 

New Year, New Look, New Things

Hi!

I've been a little quiet as of late, but that's only because I had a lot of things brewing. But now, I'm very excited to introduce the new blog design and new added features!

Notice the tabs at the top of the page.

"The Saucy Dish Home Collection"
This is where I'll post all of the one of a kind items that are officially for sale.

"What I'm Making Now"
This is a collection of the things I have in process, ideas I'm finalizing, and things that will soon be in The Home Collection.

See something in the Home Collection or What I'm Making Now that you kinda love, but wish it was a little different? Then check out...

"Customizable For YOUR Home"
Here you can request the exact same items you see in the "Home Collection", or "What I'm Making Now" but then change it up based on your style, taste, size, colors, or other design requests. And ... see something on Pinterest that you love but don't have the time/energy/patience to make? Send it to me and I'll see if it's something I can make for you.

In the coming weeks/months, expect to see a lot more items being added. I'm hoping to get a Shopify store connected to both the blog here and to my Facebook page. If you're not already one of my Facebook followers, please take a quick second to "Like" The Saucy Dish on Facebook. And then, while you're there, you could be a doll and click the share button and let your friends and family know about the fun new things going on here at The Saucy Dish too.

OK ... so, as much as I love hanging out and talking, I need to go get back to the shop to make more things, design more things, and take pictures of the things that you need in your home/office/life too.

Armageddon

Armageddon is one of those movies that just about every time it comes on TV, I have to watch.

It's almost a guilty pleasure. I have a Bachelors in English with a concentration in film and media studies. Really all that means is that I learned how to write movie reviews. But it also gives me the ability to turn my nose up at movies that cause brain damage to those who watch them and to raise my eyebrows in wonder when I find someone else who loves Jean-Pierre Jeunet films or anything from Miramax. If I hear that James Horner composed the score, I'm a little more interested in seeing the picture. So for me to love a full blown special effects driven movie feels almost like I'm breaking the rules. 

Here is the link to the IMDB page where you can real the official credintials. Who's in it, who made it, which awards it won, so I'm not going to go into all that. I'm just going to tell you why I love it.  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120591/?ref_=nv_sr_2

First of all, it's the cast. And, yes, I know I JUST said I wasn't going to talk about the cast, but I meant I wasn't going to talk about them in the, "9 time academy award nominated blah blah blah" sense. But I mean, COME ON! Bruce Willis, Ben Aflfleck, Billy Bob Thornton, Steve Buscemi, and Liv Tyler. 

Her role (Tyler's) in particular struck me. I fully believed that she loved her daddy (Willis) and honey (Affleck) tremendously, and I still cry right along with her in that one scene. If you've seen it you know what I mean. If you haven't seen it yet, I don't want to give it away, but my Lord, I ball like a baby every time. I fully believed that all the other rough-necks in the drilling crew loved her like a daughter too. This group of actors was such a fantastic blend of smarts, pretty, funny, and sincere. I bet they had a blast filming it. They look like a group that probably spent a lot of time goofing off and being silly while on set.

The special effects are cool, I guess. I'm not all that into big explosion scenes in multi million dollar blockbusters. I mean, they are cool to watch, and in a high energy movie like this or in Independence Day when the aliens are blowing up landmarks they are awesome and add to the story, but it's not the type of movie I'm going to jump to watch and if there are just explosions and damage to personal and/or public property for no real reason, that's not my bag. I prefer the homemade low-budget effects. Original Star Wars, Tremors, Monty Python, you know, back when making a movie was fun and you got to hold a camera and chase your employees in giant costumes on a hand made wagon being pulled behind a jeep. Which of course no one would do now because that's dangerous and someone could get hurt.

On a personal level, the movie holds a special place in my heart. I watched it once with my now husband and a fraternity brother of his in his room on his teeniney tv and when the "Leaving On A Jet Plane" scene came on we all sang along at the top of our lungs, flopped all over each other in a big pile laughing and singing very badly and way off key and being silly. 

Armageddon is a movie with a very good combination of love story and action making it appealing to a larger fan base. In addition to that, the love story is both a romantic love and a family love. So it's not all boobies and bombs at all. The relationships appeal to my feminin side, but I also enjoy the macho "let's go blow shit up to save the world" part too. 

At this point, of course, I should go into the dichotomy of this and the juxtaposition of that, the protagonist and antagonist, the struggles, the obstacles overcome. Or I should point out certain screen shots, fades, editing, cinematography, zooms, pans, etc. 

But no. Not here. Not with Armageddon. It's just fun to watch and I don't feel the need to dissect it and turn it into a choreographed essay-like document I would have submitted 15 years ago with footnotes, a cover page, and a side of anxiety over whether or not my works sited page was formatted correctly. 

So, with all that said, and for the reasons described above, I'll say it again. Armageddon is one of those movies that just about every time it comes on TV, I have to watch.

Recycled Towel Bathmat

Needing a new bathmat and having no money to buy one, I decided to experiment with cutting two old towels into strips, braiding them, then sewing the braid together to create the "new" bathmat. 

To my amazement, it worked wonderfully and came out perfect. 

Here is how I made it. 

I picked out the 2 regular sized bath towels that I wanted to use. They were a few years old, had a tear in one and a bleach spot on another. 

I then cut the towels into about 2" strips. 

I didn't want the tough "seam" part of the towel, so I cut them off as well. 

I used a large round tipped "Tapestry" needle and size 10 crochet cotton thread. 

After cutting both towels into strips, I started to assemble the braid. Using the above thread, I made a very simple stitch to hold together the start of the first 3 strips.

I then sewed a new strip to the ends of the previous strips as the braid grew. 

The 2" thickness of the strip made it very easy to keep a flat braid. I wanted this to be the case because I wanted to make sure the mat was as soft as possible. 

After I had one long "rope" of the braided towel strips, I laid it out to see if I liked it as a circle or oval, and to check for size. 

We decided on the oval, and it wasn't quite large enough with just 1 towel so I continued with the second towel to make it large enough to fit in front of our shower. 

I measured the space in front of the shower door (very technically with my leg) then I sat on the floor and began to lay out the braid to get the final size I needed. 

The finished mat is a spiral of the braided strips. To create the oval, I started with a straight section of the braided rope, then turned it 180 degrees, keeping it flat and even. Think of a paper clip as the core design. 

Once I had the size I wanted, I began to sew it together. I really just wove the crochet thread through the braid. I believe I only pierced the braid with the needle at the very beginning and end. 

Using the large needle, I was able to easily weave the thread through adjoining sections of the braid. 

Keep the thread tight, but not too tight, or you'll bring it up like a basket rather than a flat mat. If it's not tight enough it will appear to unravel and look yucky. 

By weaving the thread in and out of the braids side-by-side like this, you hide the thread. 

I continued to weave the thread through each section of braid until I had secured all of the rope to itself resulting in the finished oval shaped bathmat. 

And there we have it. The upcycled bathmat made from 2 regular sized bath towels. 

Send me pictures of yours after you make it! I'll be making more myself. The kids now want one for their bathroom too. 

Momday

I have a timer that goes off on my phone and tablet every day at noon telling me that its time to write. But I've had a very hard time coming up with what to write about. 

So, I made up a catchy little list of things that could spark an idea.

Monday: Mom, Menu, Media

Tuesday: Transformation

Wednesday: Words, Wonder

Thursday: Thirsty, Thankful, Therapeutic

Friday: Food, Friends, Farm, Fun, Family

And, since today is Monday, and a really awesome thing happened this past week, it's kinda perfect timing to write about Mama's sapphire ring. 

Mama was given this ring by her Daddy for her college graduation. She wore it every day 100% of the time from that moment on. She even paired it with her wedding ring, and was essentially just a part of her. Really almost more than that, though. It WAS HER.

Before she passed, she said she wanted me to have it until Shelby, my niece, and my mothers only grandchild at the time of her death, was old enough to love it, care for it, and treasure it. Shelby and Mama were both born in September, as as the sapphire is their birthstone, it was perfect for Shel to have it.

Kate, my sister and I, discussed the big moment of when we would give it to her. We debated her college graduation, like Mama. I thought it would be sweet to give it to her on her wedding day as her something blue and something old. But in the end, Kate and I chose her 21st birthday, which was this year.

So, last week, I began the process of both finding a perfect way to ship the ring to Shel, and the process of letting go of it.  

The ring was always Mama's. I was a babysitter for it until Shel was old enough, so therefore I was scared to really wear it a lot. I tried from time to time to get in the habit of wearing it, but it never felt like "mine", and I was so anxious about it. Plus, I would catch a glimpse of it out of the corner of my eye and would honestly flinch because I thought my hand was my mother's. The ring was such a part of her that it was hard to explain what it felt like to see it on my own finger. 

I looked in so many stores. Looked for jewelry boxes, ring boxes, decorative storage boxes, anything that would be a nifty gift that would protect and encase the ring in shipping. I even almost bought a ring so I could use the ring box to ship our ring in. 

Then, at TJMaxx (aaah ... how we love the maxx!) I found a wine glass that was painted with "Birthday Girl" and had a loop formed in the glass stem holding a wine dooble. PERFECT!! I placed the ring onto the wine dooble, walked next door to the shipping place, and overnighted that bad-boy to my sister's house. 

The next night, we were able to be on facetime so I could be there with her as she opened it. And sure enough, she loved it, it fit perfectly, and both Kate and I cried. 

I also learned a few things. UPS will not ship an item that is "irreplaceable", so don't say that the item is a one of a kind family heirloom. Insurance it flipping EXPENSIVE on shipping things. Even if you don't ensure it, don't put a dollar value on it, and don't tell them that a signature is required, they may suddenly decide that they won't just leave the package on the porch, nor will they leave it at a local UPS store for pickup.

But ... the drama of the shipping aside, the fact that I didn't breathe at ALL until I knew it was in my sisters possession aside, it was a beautiful moment. It took her a few minutes to realize what the ring was, that it was HERS, and what it all meant. But of course, trying to understand Kate and I while we cried trying to tell her about it probably didn't help.

Shelby ... I love you dearly! Mama loved you more than anything in the world, and I know she's smiling down on you and so incredibly proud of you!  You are an amazing woman, and I'm proud to be your aunt.

Love you!!

Pantry Stew

Awe heck. Mr. Saucy is going love the leftovers from tonight's stew!

2 lbs stew meat 

Olive Oil

1 onion

3-4-7 garlic cloves

6"sprig of fresh rosemary

3-4 6" sprigs of fresh thyme

Bay leaf

Salt 

Pepper (if your kids won't freak the crap out)

1 big can of whole peeled tomatoes, or diced toms, your choice. (I had whole, so that's what I used.)

1 empty tomato can of water 

1 cup rice 

Onions and garlic get cooked in olive oil. 

Toss in fresh herb sprigs. And bay leaf. (Don't bother taking thyme and rosemary off of the stems. They cook in the stew, falling off of the stem, and you just remove the stems before serving.)

The meat gets added. 

Cook until meat is brown all over. You can do batches if you want, I didn't. 

Add tomatoes, fill the can with water and add that too. 

Stir. Cover. Cook baby. Cook. 

Low and slow. 

You could put all of this into a crockpot I guess, but I don't have any luck with crockpots. 

When the meat it fall apart tender and you're good and hungry, add the rice. 

Stir. Watch it. Adjust the temp. Add more water if your rice needs it. 

When the rice is cooked you may eat. 

You may eat it before the rice is fully cooked if you want, but it won't be a pleasant experience. 

But hey. You be you.

Garden 2015

The porch, which has the wisteria growing up the pergola. 

Wide shot of the porch. Same wisteria on the right, Floyyd the Ficus in the center, and moon flower in the pot on the left growing up the other side of the pergola. 

The strawberries are sending out a second crop. 

The giant mutant zucchini!!

Only one tomato plant this year. I had a bout of blossom-end-rot that I had to fight off. So far I've only harvested 2 ripe tomatoes this season. 

The hot pepper plant that I can't remember it's name. But it made my lip go numb, so it's a good one. 

There are also 2 varieties of bell pepper and cucumber plays as well, but they're impressingly unproductive. 

We also have sweet potatoes growing in a few places.  The herbs are still thriving in their pots on the porch, so hopefully the rest of the produce will catch on and catch up soon. 

BootCamp Day 1

Here we go again. 

Yup. I've joined a new gym. But it's not a gym-gym. It's a Fit Body Boot Camp. If you've never heard of such a thing, here's a link.Gainesville FitBodyBootCamp. It's a 30 minute routine that is NONSTOP. From the time the trainer/coach hits the volume up button on the music, we jump, step, move, pull, lift, and sweat like there's no tomorrow.

I went for an initial trial last week and fell head over heels in love with the activities, facility, and owners. 

I'm currently in a 21-day challenge. If I win the challenge I get 2 months free membership. I earn points by weight lost, inches lost, body fat percentage lost, number of times I check-in on social media, and the number of times I'm at the gym. I'm totally going to win, by the way.  

So, it's exciting, and I'm having a blast. I have always loved working out, hated running, and have always had the hardest time just getting up and getting there. But I'm feeling pretty good about this. The kids are cooperating, they understand that this is my time to do something for me. They have their sports, Daddy has the shooting range and coaching and playing various sports throughout the year for charity, and this is my "thing". They're old enough to get it now and to not be total pills when it's time to go. That makes it infinitely easier for me, to be honest. Y'all know I'm the queen of excuses, so having the kids on board is very important to me.

Wish me luck, cross your fingers, and perhaps even say a little prayer for me.

I'll keep you posted... 

Looking For Advice.

Our daughter is 5. She's very smart and perfectly capable of picking up her own toys and cleaning her own messes. 

However, she pitches a MASSIVE fit when asked to do so, and what should be a very simple 2-minute tidying project becomes a 2-day battle. 

What am I doing wrong? How do I find the way to get through to her that if she has made the mess she can clean up the mess? 

We have taken away privileges and certain toys as punishments, but she just goes and finds other things to play with and gets into even more trouble. 

We've tried rewards. "After you've picked up all of your dollies, you can watch one Bubble Guppies."

I've tried ignoring her, yelling at her, whispering to her, singing to her, talking to her, and nothing helps. 

She collapses on the floor in a tantrum state when asked to do the simplest of projects. 

Put your books back on the shelf. "But that will take FOREVER!!", she wails. Well, not if you just go do it. 

We even help by giving her very small and specific tasks. Put your clothes in your hamper. Put your dress-up clothes in your chest. Put your barbies in their bin. Put your stuffed animals in the basket. She just seems to flat-out refuse. 

So... I'm asking for help. What do we do? How do I get her to help clean up her messes? I'm at a loss. 

Pedicure Lovin'

I'm sitting in the salon getting my nails done and figured I'm do a little blogging while my hands are free. 

It's very hard for me to ask for "extra's". I want fancy toes today and I picked a picture from Pinterest that I love. I asked about it and they said yes, but it's going to cost extra. That's fine I get it. But because my pinky toenail is so itty bitty, the manager told me it didn't make sense for me to get the polka-dots on all of my toes because you wouldn't be able to see the color after the dots were applied. 

We went back and forth, I was suddenly embarrassed that I had asked for something special, and decided I'd just do a single color and polka dots on my big toe only. 

But then after thinking about it, I decided I really want my rainbow toes and dots. So, I'll do the rainbow toes with dots on my big toe only, then solid fingernails with a pretty design on my them. We'll see. The nail on my right middle finger is shorter than all the rest, so they might have another idea for me once they get to my hands. 

Stay tuned. 

Genna Lake's Flowders

Genna turned 5 this year and she really wanted her very own flower garden.

So ... Mr Saucy, aka The Daddy Person, aka My Honey, aka Patrick made her her very own flower bed, and we asked family and friends who came by for her party to bring flowers rather than toys to fill her garden.

She LOVES it. 

First Bed. Also has blueberries. 

Second Bed. Also has grapes. 

Both Beds with clematis growing between. 

GG watering her flowders. 

Inspecting the hose and faucet. 

Watering from the bucket. 

Happy Girl!!

Keepin' It Real, Yo!

This mornings two-hour delay meant fun in the kitchen involving pancakes, red food coloring, and an assortment of eatable creations that in no way resemble hearts. 

See. 

This one I call "The Creepy Ultrasound". 

See the little dude inside smiling and waving?

This one has a slight "splat" from flipping before it was fully set. We shall call it the "Don King" Face Plant".  

This one Conner told me kinda looked like I heart who's butt exploded. We'll leave it at that. 

And finally we end with "The Double Mammogram". 

Enjoy your Pinterest Breakfast Fails my friends. 

For no matter how strange and disturbing our REAL LIFE creations turn out looking, they're just as delicious as the fancy ones. 

See. 

Ps... I was referring to the pancakes being eaten by my favorite girl-creation. Whom I don't think is disturbing at all, but  is a little strange. 

Chickizza

Possibly my best invention his far.

Chickizza. 

Ingredients:

Olive oil

Butter

Chicken breasts

Pizza sauce of choice

Pizza cheese of choice

Pizza toppings of choice

Heat oven to 400

Put the chicken breast into a large heavy plastic bag, and pound out the chicken breasts until they are very thin. These will be your pizza crusts, so make them even and very thin.

Stack them on a plate next to the stove so you can season and cook them without having to drip chicken all over your kitchen.

Put a big heavy skillet on the stove on medium high heat and warm ypur olive oil and melt your butter.

Sprinkle the chicken with salt and place the salted side down. Salt the other side once it's in the pan. Brown the chicken breasts in the pan, on both sides, putting one or two at a time, based on how big your skillet is.

Place the browned and cooked through chicken breasts on a foil lined baking sheet.

Now you have your zero carb and gluten free pizza crusts.

We put on typical red style marinara pizza sauce, shredded mozzarella, and pepperoni.

Oops... I forgot a pre-cooked picture with pepperoni.

They went into the 400 degree oven for 8 minutes. We thin key could have stood a full 10 to really melt the cheese, but we were too excited to try them, so we pulled them out at 8 minutes.

As you can see, I made 6. Conner ate 1, Mr. Saucy and I had 2 each, and he took one for lunch today. The girl had leftover Mac-N-Cheese, and we were all totally ok with that, because it meant more Chickizza for us.

I honestly took one bite and fell in love. I then took a second bite and knew I had to run a taste next door. I put another bite on my fork, put on my shoes, ran out of the house, scared he wee-hawkin out of my neighbors husband who was working on the car in the driveway in the dark, rang the doorbell, shoved the fork into my neighbors mouth, high fives her when I saw her eyes light up, yen turned and ran back hime to finish my supper. 

It's totally going in the regular rotation of The Saucy Dish family dished. Our Friday night pizza movie nights will no longer involve heating a frozen pizza or ordering delivery.

Hello Chickizza. I love you.

Stay Saucy, and Dish.

Gross

Mr. Saucy and I have a joint New Years Resolution. 

Along with the ever popular Lose Weight, Eat Healthy, Exercise Daily ... we have ... a secret one.

"Don't Be Gross"

Because ... we're gross. We are. I mean, we're fat and lazy and gross. We don't always do the dishes at night, we let the trash can(s) fill up to a balancing act that would make a physics professor proud, and we step over dust bunnies the size of rhinoceroses. 

I finally got fed up and decided to clean the kitchen. Like really CLEAN the kitchen. And I was so grossed out, I thought I was going to gag.  

We had a bunch of decorative things up on the top of the cabinets that were coated in cooking grease residue that had floated into the air over the past several years and just clung to items in the kitchen that aren't used regularly. 

The layer of yuck on top of the cabinets was just as disgusting. We used a powerful degreaser, a plastic scrubbie, and a mixture of hot water and Palmolive dish soap to scrub then wipe up the yuck.

Once everything was cleaned up, we organized the cabinets to make space for these things to live inside the cabinets and not on top of the cabinets. 

I know that as the full-time at-home parent that I "should" be able to get everything spic and span every single day. I mean, Beverly Cleaver did it in heels, pearls, and with a 24" waist, so why can't I manage in an age of convenience, ease, and technology? I don't know. Ok ... I don't know. 

So ... yesterday while I was writing out this week's meal plan and exercise plan, I added a cleaning schedule too. It includes which night is which kids turn to clean the table, which days I dust, sweep, mop, clean bathrooms, change the sheets, wash the towels, etc.

This may seem second nature to you, but to me, it's just not. I have a super-human ability to overlook clutter and crud. So ... when it gets to the point that I think it's nasty, it's probably closer to toxic for the neat-freaks out there. 

We're not about to be on an episode of Hoarders, not even CLOSE, but it is time to realize that 4 humans, 2 huge dogs, and an indoor/outdoor cat can generate a lot of dirt. And we're gross. Just gross. 

So, let's stop being gross. And here's how I hope I can make this happen during the week so I can relax on the weekends, not feel guilty about relaxing, and not be upset that other's aren't helping.

Here's the cleaning plan for this week...

Monday = Dust everywhere and Vacuum Downstairs
Tuesday = Sweep all hardwood and tile, Mop, Laundry
Wednesday = Vacuum bedrooms and clean the bathrooms
Thursday = Laundry, Sheets, Towels
Friday = Wipe cabinets, sweep, mop

Here's the meal plan for this week...

Monday = Pork Tenderloin and Carrots
Tuesday = Fish and Spinach
Wednesday = Venison Stuffed Peppers
Thursday = Chicken and Broccoli
Friday = Pizza for the kids, Venison steaks and spinach for Mr. Saucy and me.

And, here's my workout plan for this week...

Monday = Walk and Pump
Tuesday = Pump and Treadmill
Wednesday = Walk and Pump
Thursday = Pump and Treadmill
Friday = Pump and Treadmill
Saturday = Walk and Pump
Sunday = Walk

For my work week, I need to get into Wordpress to work on a project for a friend's web page, I need to get more blog posts written for my Dad's blog, I need to tweet more, and blog more for my own blog, and I need to get more active in my BeachBody coaching.

For my peace of mind week, I want to get some sewing done, some pictures taken, some film developed, some prints made, some books read, and some clutter tossed.