Yesterday, Patrick and I finally took the Pilot to the local Honda dealer to get the recalled airbag replaced. This is a true (Lord, I wish it were a joke) account of our morning at Honda Koons of Manassas.
First of all, getting into the dealership is a miraculous feat unto itself. The only way to get into it from the main road is via a driveway/road that is not only not labeled, but one of three unlabeled "drives" within a few yards of one another in a strip of road about a quarter of a mile long located between a large intersection, a gas station, and the on-ramps to one of the biggest highways leading into Washington DC.
Then, upon getting into the area of the dealership, there is no exterior signage directing you towards the "Service Department". So I park in the Customer Parking spot in the front and get out of the car. A man sees me pull up and park, and damn near pees himself trying to get to me. A woman, alone, in a Honda Pilot pulling up to a Honda dealership! Bless his heart, he was seeing dollar signs and commission galore. A repeat customer! A woman! She'll buy from me and pay anything I want as long as I have the right color and a cup holder for her Starbucks! That's all women care about when buying a car.
So, Mr. BIG SMILE comes out, walks over to me while I'm getting out. I smile and say, "Hi. I have an appointment to get my airbag replaced."
Poor thing is so deflated all he can manage is a slight eye-roll (I think he was trying to suppress it but it was so strong, a little just had to squeak out) and to indicate with a head tilt and finger point over his shoulder before uttering something about me needing to go around back. I smile and thank him and start to get back in the car. Mind you, I have my purse, my water bottle, and my coffee all with me, which I'm now juggling to get back in the car with me without spilling. As I'm doing this, not only does he not offer to help or at least hold the door for me, but he actually says, "Or I would love to sell you a brand new one." To which I laughed, snorted actually, and said, "Yeah! I'm sure you would!" Then he reaches into his pocket and pulls out his business card to hand me. AS I'M ALREADY JUGGLING THREE THINGS AND MY CAR DOOR THAT'S CLOSING BECAUSE OF THE SLIGHT INCLINE IN THE PARKING LOT. Jackweasle then stands there holding out his card as I manage to get back in without spilling anything, and reopen my door so I can take his card.
So ... back in the car, Patrick has parked the Jeep and gets in the Pilot with me and we drive around to the unmarked service area where there are three bay doors each with signage saying to pull up and door will automatically open. OK. That's nice, but does that pertain to me? Is that info for the mechanics? The customers? The Almighty? I can't tell. There are also no signs saying "Service/Repair Parking Customers" or anything of the like. So I find one parking spot, pull in, park, get my purse, water bottle, and coffee, and get back out of the pilot. Use the human-access main door to enter said Service area. We were very sweetly greeted by the service staff. I said that I was here to get the airbag replaced, and they said to pull on up to the bay door, it will open, and I can pull in to get checked in.
O.
K.
Wouldn't it have been kind to have this written on a sign outside? Maybe?
So ... I get back in the car, again juggling my purse, my water, my coffee, OH, AND MY KEYS this time, because I was thinking I was going to give my keys to the mechanic to drive my car into the bay to do the repairs.
I drive up to the first of the three bay doors. It opens just like it said it would. I drive in and then over to the two men directing me to the second lane. Now I think ... do I pick everything up again? Is this the last place I need to put my car? Do I need to do my own replacement too? Upon getting out, there is a man standing with my husband with a clip board getting the final information. He's very nice and seems very willing to help ... my husband. I lost count, but I do believe it was at least three times during the entire process that my sweet husband said, "Ask her. It's her car." to which seemingly shocked and awed the people there. WHAT?!?! A woman who OWNS a car? How is this even possible?
So, the back and forth of what all we needed done, asking Patrick, me answering, asking Patrick again, me answering until he had all his notes completed and we thanked them and walked through the office into the show room to take a look a the newest Honda lineup.
Quick back-story on me ... the first car I ever bought with my own money was an '88 Accord. Before that I had an '81 Accord that was my first love. Named Arthur (after Arthur Dent of Hitchhikers Guide) when my mom bent the fender when it was originally her car. Arthur then became mine, and I'm not sure there will ever be a love affair as pure as my love for Arthur. In fact, I fully believe the spirit of Arthur is in every car I own. Arthur is my protective chariot. He cares for me, protects me and now my babies with me, and I protect him. OK ... so, that being said, There was a time when I could tell you the year of the Honda by the body style.
Even further back in the back story, before I was driving Original Arthur, I had a VW Karmann Ghia with severe electrical malfunctions. I got the Chilton and rewired the entire car by myself. I'm not new to car ownership or repair. If I could get a Bondo scented perfume, I'd probably wear it.
Out of the seven cars I can claim to have been "mine" in the past 30 years, two were VW (a bug before the Ghia), then my '81 Accord, then my '88 accord, then a brand new (my first and only brand new car EVER) 2000 Jeep Cherokee Sport, then back to a Honda (Odyssey this time), and finally to my current love, my 2006 Honda Pilot.
So again, I hope I have somewhat established that I love Honda's. I know Honda's. My family, as a collective, have owned and currently own more Honda's than I feel like trying to count right now.
This brings us back up to yesterday's story. Thank you for sticking with me through that side-bar.
We walk through the office and into the showroom to see the new Honda Lineup.
There are only four or five cars in the show room. No big deal, Honda's are wicked popular I know they are snapped up as soon as they are available. So we look at the cars in the showroom, then venture outside to see if we can find a new Ridgeline or Pilot.
And yes, we were like chum to the sales sharks in the showroom. Polite smiles and "We're just waiting for our Pilot's airbag to be replaced" seemed to happily calm the feeding frenzy inside.
Outside we go. Another salesman materializes at our side and he asks what he can help us with. I told him I wanted to see the new Pilot or the new Ridgeline. He very nicely told us that they didn't have any Pilots, that they only get three a month, and they are sold practically as soon as they are on the lot. He could order one for us (umhum, I'm sure you could) or we could call to see when the next shipment would be in and we could come look then. About the Ridgeline, we're told that he's "just as much in the dark about that as we are" again instilling much confidence in your product knowledge.
No no ... it gets better. Each time "I" ask him about a vehicle, he looks at Patrick to answer. I then decided to really floor him and I asked him if Honda was in the process of making another convertible. He honestly looks like I've spoken Swahili. He repeats the word ... "Convertible" as if trying to process it's meaning. Then says, "No. But we have the new Civics." (long pause ...) I think I must have blinked a few times and then given him an "oh, bless your sweet heart" look because he looked down at the ground and said, "Yeah, but they aren't convertibles." Patrick turned around to not laugh, but the sales man wasn't discouraged! I wanted to be sure we knew that he knew what he was talking about! "Oh, but Honda IS coming out with an alternative fuel cell car!" This was directed at Patrick again, because, what the Hell would "I" know about alternative fuel cells. In unison, Patrick and I say, "Oh, OK. That's cool." And ... No lie, sweet sales man says, "Yeah. It's called ... um ... the civic LX-P ... Oh, no, wait, that's not it, it's um .. the ... awe man, I can't remember."
So we smile real big again and say we're going to just wander around and look at what's on the lot.
Pickin's were pretty slim out on the lot. Again, understandable with Honda's resale records/statistics. This dealership is attached to a GMC dealer too, and the used cars share the same lot, so we moseyed on over to the other side of the lot looking here and there at a few random selections. not impressed, we head back towards the Jeep to go run errands etc while the Pilot is being repaired.
We notice a Jeep Wrangler with a sticker in the window about all of it's stats, but no price. Like clockwork, another salesman materializes and asks if we need any help. I ask about the price of the Wrangler, and he sweetly smiles and walks over to the vehicle to look at the sticker, because clearly I'm too dumb to be able to read it. But what is this? There is no price on it. He whips out his handy tablet and does some very important scurrying, then looks puzzled and tells us that it's not in their database yet. "OK. No problem. Thanks anyway." we say. He instantly perks up, like he's just completely had the past three minutes of his life erased from his mind and cheerfully says, "OK! Let me know if you have any questions!"
Patrick and I stifle our laugh as we thank him again, turn and head back to our Cherokee to leave. We look at each other and laugh about the fact that no one on the entire lot could answer any questions we had.
The mechanic doing the work on my baby called to double check what else we wanted him to look at (our key fobs needed things and I wanted to check on updating the GPS) and he told me that a headlamp was out and the brakes needed to be replaced soon. He was VERY nice. I OK'd the headlight replacement and thanked him for the update on the brakes but said not now. He told me i needed to get online to buy the GPS update from Honda directly. Lastly, he told me about the $180.00 replacement charge for the fob, and after I recovered from the guttural explosion of expletives that spewed from me, I told him that wasn't necessary. He then very sweetly offered to take the working parts from one and put them into the other to make one key and fob that worked instead of two that don't. I asked about the charge for that, and he said he'd do it no charge. WOOHOO! Thank you Chris from Koons!
I finally get the call from Chris from Koons letting me know my baby is all set, and we go pick him up. Arthur 5, not Chris. The airbag replacement was a recall, so no cost to us, the headlamp was about $20.00, the labor was about $10.00, so for about $30.00 I have a new airbag that won't send shards of plastic and metal into my jugular upon impact, a working key and fob, and both headlights. OH! AND a complementary car wash! Not too shabby, I'd say.
So all-in-all, I'm very pleased with the service and work performed at Koons Honda Manassas. And really the sales team gave me a great story to tell, so I thank them too. Had I been in the market to buy, this story would not be so lighthearted, as I would still be fuming over the lack of product knowledge, but as it stands now, a nice morning spent with My Honey and my sweet Arthur is happily awaiting our next adventure.
