To run or not to run ... that is the question

Last week one of my goals was to complete JUST week 1, day 1 of the couch to 5K app on my phone. I downloaded the free version, because I'm not going to spend money on it until I know for sure that I'm going to follow through with this.

As usual, I didn't do it.  I found a LOT of reasons not to.  It was raining every day early in the week, and I know I can't do week 1, day1 on the first day, and I didn't want to start mid-week, because then I might not make my goal, and that would discourage me, and I wouldn't try again. I had my step-mother's memorial to plan, and I was spending a lot of time thinking about that, coordinating what friends and relatives wanted to bring, etc. I am still job hunting, and if I don't sit in front of the computer actively looking for a job, then how can I validate my time outside being selfish by going for a walk and a run when I'm not contributing to the overall wealth and growth of the family. 

See ... I'm a pathological "starter", and according to the rant above, a fantastic excuse maker. I'm very good at starting things. I bet I've started more than a million projects in my life, but actually finishing them ... well ... that's another story.  I jump in with both feet, knowing FOR SURE that this time will be different.  "I really will do it this time." "But this time I 'REALLY' want this, and I've got a 'PLAN'." "OK, next time I start to slip away, remind me that I want this, and I'm telling you to remind me that I want this."  WHOA ... what's that over there ... I need to go investigate that.  Wait ... what was I doing?  I can't remember.  Oh well, must not have been important since I cant remember, so I'll go start supper.

So ... today I did it. I dressed in my running gear right when I first woke up. I put on my socks and running shoes before I took the kids to preschool.  (I'm a bare-foot or flip-flop girl by nature, so socks and shoes is a big deal for me.) But ... see ... it was cloudy again, so after dropping the kids off, I went to Starbucks, to the Dollar Store, and it still wasn't raining. Humph. Hello!  Where are my excuses now?!? AHAH!  My cell battery was almost dead (how I have NO idea since I swear I plugged it in last night, but it was just about dead as a doornail this morning), so I sat down with what was left of my coffee, watched a few minutes of Kelly and Michael, and let my phone charge. After about 15 minutes, it had half a charge, so I plugged in my hot pink ear buds from TJMaxx (with the adjustable rubber nubs that don't hurt my ears and don't fall out) and I turned on my phone. I selected the running app, turned on the play list I had made (all by myself, thank you very much), and left the house for a walk/run. 

My original goal for today was to walk the whole time.  Let's just see what this feels like after so long. Let's see what the weather is like. Let's not push it.  The point is to get out and move, it's not to run a marathon on day one. (Oh, PS ... if I'm not instantly the best at something I tend to quit. Never grew out of that 3-year-old mentality for some reason. Yes, I know it's a flaw, and I'm aware of it, so that's the first step ... right?)

So the nice mans voice told me to start walking, and a good song was on, so I happily followed instructions. (At this point, while reading this, my husband and a few of my other long-time friends have just passed out at the idea I would follow directions.) I walked the sidewalks of my neighborhood, feeling great in the cool overcast weather. My Wonder Woman t-shirt alerting the world to my presence. I iPhone tucked into my bra so I could use both arms to swing and really get into the walk and not futz with my phone. 

Then the nice man said to begin to run. This too sounded like a fine idea, so I thought I'd give it a try.  And before I was sore or tired, he told me to slow down and walk again. SWEET!  This is AWESOME!  I'M RUNNING!  I'm a runner. WOO HOO!  So I strutted down the road using my walking feet listening to the music, when he told me to run again.  So I did.  And low and behold, it kinda started to feel like work after a little while, but then he said to walk again, so I graciously did as I was told. No, not told, suggested.  As it was suggested to me.  Yeah ... that's better.  So again, I walked along feeling very proud and excited. Then it was suggested that I run again. Well, OK, it's not too long, he'll tell me I can walk again soon, so lets try it again.  "He's going to say I can walk again soon, he's going to say I can walk again soon, he's going to say I can walk again soon" was my mantra soon into this third running segment. And he did.  There's a very pleasant chime right before he talks, and I didn't even wait for his voice after that chime. When the 4th chime came on saying it was time to run, I did so again, also knowing that it's not a long spell of running, and I "think" I can do this.  The mantra was in my head the entire time on the 4th running segment.  Good LORD it's starting to feel like "work".  On the 5th running segment, I didn't follow his suggestion to run.  Then, on the 6th and final running segment, I had to cut it short.  His sweet voice told me I was in my final 5 minutes of cool-down, and then I needed to stretch.  I turned around and headed for home.

Then I posted that bad boy to facebook, did my stretching and some old yoga moves I remember from my gym days, and kicked off my shoes. Just in time to see the first raindrops fall onto the deck.

So here we are.  I made it.  I did it.  I didn't "do" all of week 1, day 1.  I won't count it as done until I can run each time he tells me to run, and I can go the whole time he tells me to.  I'm still hoping that I can make it by the end of this week though.  Because, you see, I REALLY want it this time!