Square One... It's like I never left you.

Those of you that follow along regularly know that I have been battling my weight for a long time. I started a "Game On" challenge with friends via Facebook, and found a wonderful circle of people who help motivate me, encourage me, and support me. That being said, they can't physically be with me 24/7 to both monitor and control what I eat and do. I exercised 180 minutes last week, I counted every calorie, and every carbohydrate. I was below calories and carbs for the first half of the week, and lost 4 pounds like THAT (snap of fingers of emphasis). Then I had enough calories left over after a long workout and not eating very high caloric foods during the day to eat gluten free pizza for supper. It was dreamy. Warm, crunchy, salty, tangy, cheesy. Oh, man, was it just awesome. 

But... The next day, I was in agony. Must have gotten cross contaminated, because I was dreaming of trying to find a restroom, then woke up before 6:00am with terrible tummy troubles.  I spend 90% of the next day (Saturday) in bed. But I got up to eat. I mean, I am ad addict. I needed that food fix, needed to see if eating would make me feel better. Nope. Not even a little bit. 

But, around 4:00pm, I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, so I joined the family and planned a "comfort meal" of mild chicken and rice and peas for supper. Made it, it was fabulous, ate it, and enjoyed some time with the family. The kids eagerly and sweetly exclaimed that this was the best meal ever, lifting my spirits higher and higher. 

Then I noticed the next morning that 2 of my lost 4 pounds had found its way back home. I hadn't lost them, but merely misplaced them. 

Sunday was my official "cheat day" and we had a full day of relaxing and fun planned. A day-trip to a winery with friends, and a baseball game that night. Cheese and crackers with the wine, then gluten free hotdogs and gluten free beer at the game. It really was a great day!

Monday morning, today, this morning, I got on the scale to see what was going on, and the other 2 lost pounds had rejoined their comrades on my thighs. It's a good thing too, because one side was horribly lopsided with those 2 extra pounds. I was way off balance, walking almost in circles, it was a little embarrassing. It's a blessing really that the other 2 came back.

The blessing is this. I know that I can not eat carbohydrates that do not come from leafy green vegetables. The ONLY carbohydrate that my body can process and not immediately store as fat is leafy greens.  

So here we are, back to a Monday morning start of a week. I'm thinking no cheats, other than perhaps a gigantic steak. But as far as cheats... I'm only cheating myself. I'm not sneaking something by the diet police, looking over my shoulder and laughing at the fact that I got away with it. "Ha Ha! You SUCKER!  I just ate a plate of brown rice, and you didn't catch me! Fools!"  Yeah... Um... They did catch me. Well, the scale caught me, and I'm feeling like the fool. 

Time to wake up Chica. You know what to do, and it's way past time to stop being so hard headed about all this. There is no magic bullet, no easy way out, no miracle "plan" that will fix all of this. You ate your way here, you can eat your way out. Just do it and shut up, already.

Game on, y'all.

Didn't survive Day 5

If you've been following along, you saw that yesterday wasn't my finest hour. I think it's safe to say the granola I bought isn't gluten free. My stomach hurt all day, I was clearly grouchy and felt defeated. 

Here is my food diary from yesterday. 

Yes. I ate a whole pizza for supper. AND FELT TERRIBLE! My tummy is still fighting back from the granola and a probable case of cross-contamination in the pizza. 

So, we fall, and we pick ourselves back up. If you miss your exit, you don't stay on the highway forever do you? Nope. You find the next place to turn around and you get going again. It takes you a little longer to get there, but you don't give up the entire trip because of one wrong or missed turn. 

This isn't going to happen in a day or two. And "I" especially need to remember that. I want to see the scale move daily. I admit it. I'm a slave to the scale. Yes, I know that my clothes and my health should matter more, but there's something inside me that WANTS to see the numbers on the scale reflect my hard work. 

I'm jumping right back on. No need to wallow in my defeat or self-sabotage. Look at what works and do more of that, look at what's not working and don't do more of that, and simply plow on. 

Day 3

Yesterday was easier than I thought when I started writing in the wee hours of the morning. 

The hardest part of yesterday was deciding what to order from the Chinese take-out/delivery place. My Honey wanted delivery, and I couldn't find the menu for the Italian place that makes the HUGE salads. So we opted for Chinese. I searched my ap for different options and their calorie content, then went to google to check ingredients to be sure what I was picking would most likely be gluten free. 

I chose Moo Shu Pork, and asked for steamed white rice rather than the pancakes. It was VERY good. I didn't eat it all. I could have, and a part of me wanted to! But I realized I wasn't stuffed, nor was I still hungry, so I stopped. There was enough left for a snack later, but I threw it away. I don't HAVE to clean my plate. I don't have to save every bite of leftovers. 

My exercising was pushed back to the kids nap-time, and I LOVED that time alone. I read my book and enjoyed the "quiet". I even rode longer than the 30 minutes because I was so happily enjoying the book and the activity as a whole. 

I am having some abdominal pains as my body gets adjusted to eating differently. I hope this is temporary, and hope its a normal part of this cycle. 

Here's what I ate, drake, and did for exercise yesterday. I didn't add the time playing with the kids, the number of outfit changes they wanted, the dozens of puzzles, markers, crayons, and books I picked up off the floor, and didn't count the vacuuming in my activities. 

 

(Please feel free to take a look at a fellow Mom-Blogger's page. www.TinyStepsMommy.com)