Evil Mommy Monster

OMG, I am so tired of this bug! Everything in the world tells us that we can't get The Flu from the Flu Shot, but I received the Flu Mist this year, and I've been sick ever since.

The flu shot is a dead strain of the bug, while the mist is a "weakend" live version. I think the live bug that was squirted up my nose wasn't so weakened, but I'm no scientist and I don't claim to know anything other than what the manufacturers and doctors tell me. 

All of the side effects of the mist are also flu symptoms. Fever, cough, runny/stuffy nose, aches and pains, head ache, etc. And all the info I found on the internet says that it can take up to 2 weeks for the flu vaccine to work in your system to fight a flu bug that you may catch. 

So, if it could take up to 2 weeks for the vaccine to work, then you could still catch the flu right after getting the shot. Especially if you go to your doctors office to get it. 

So, if all the side effects are also symptoms of the flu, then why the hell go through the torture of getting the damn shot/mist? 

Because it's our civic duty to make sure we don't catch it and spread it. I'm a big advocate for all vaccines. 

But this is getting on my nerves and making me Evil Mommy Monster. 

Timeline: 

Thursday the kids and I got the mist.

Thursday night I started to get a little horse.

Friday I spent the morning on a farm with my son's Kindergarten class as a chaperon.

Saturday I started feeling bad. Headache, congested, grumpy.

Sunday morning i woke up feeling really bad. A lot more congested, stuffy, sore throat, sore ears, head ache.

We had our end of year T-Ball party on Sunday, and I didn't want to cancel for a little cold, so the party went on. With the adrenaline of the party and the awesome friends and energy that was all around, I didn't notice until everyone left that I was worn out. I think I sat on the sofa for a few minutes, then went to bed and CRASHED.

Sunday night the nausea and fever hit.

Monday, Mr. Saucy stayed home and I stayed in bed.

Tuesday, Mr. Saucy had to go to work, so I was up and about with the kids. It was a teacher conference day, so the kids were home with me and not in school. This is when I lost my cool and became that horrible Mommy that I always feared I would be.

In addition to throwing a spoon at the floor by my sons feet because he decided after 3 times of asking him if he wanted his own bowl and him saying NO each time, he decided to sit down an eat my bowl and then spanking the girls hand 3 times in a row instead of just once after she knocked my HUGE glass of ice water with crushed ice (so it was wicked hard to clean up) on the carpet, lets just say it wasn't my finest hour. Kids were sent to their rooms, timeout, and even sent outside to play in order to get them away from me. In addition to the soup fiasco and the water spil, they broke an antique in the front room while both running and throwing things in the house, which they have been told at least 5 times every day of their lives not to do.

But, by the time Daddy got home on Tuesday, both kids had figured out it wasn't the best day to test Mommy, and I had figured out it wasn't a good time to try to act as if it was a normal day and we had come to a mutual understanding of "Chill The Hell Out" status. The kids had even taken showers and were in their jammies and Martial Arts clothes in time for Daddy to take him to practice. GG snuggles with me on the sofa and we both apologized to each other for being pills. 

No one likes being sick. And I honestly believe its especially hard on the loved ones of the sick person. My poor angels just wanted Mommy to be Mommy. But Mommy couldn't do that. The most I had in me was to just keep everyone alive. And some days, that's really all we can do. 

Last night I went to bed early again, and my AMAZING Honey came and gave me a kiss as he tucked the kids into bed. I apologized for being sick. "Mommy's aren't supposed to get sick", I said. Then he became even more magnificent than he was 30 seconds prior when he said, "Perhaps if you were a single mommy, then I could agree with you. But you're not a single mommy. You're not alone. You have me, and I'm here to help you and take care of you when you need it."

My LORD, I love that man!!

So ... Evil Mommy Monster has been put into storage where I hope she'll stay for another year or two. But she'll never go away away. She'll be just a bug away and I'm sure we'll see her again. 

But not too soon, I hope.

Choices

Sorry Autumn, I just can't seem to find a way to adhere to your 21-Day Fix rules. Yes, you've made it very easy with the color coded boxes for portioning but I have a hard time with this little thing called hunger.

Hunger and Carter Ann DO. NOT. MIX. 

When I get hungry I make bad choices. It's part of that broken brain I was blessed with at birth. 

Not sure where this fear of hunger comes from, I'm sure a psychologist could enlighten me and I'm sure it's my parents fault, but I'm not interested in blaming others for my feelings and actions. I know! I know! That's so un-American of me isn't it? Someone who wants to take responsibility for her SELF?!? Unheard of! 

The truth is, all parents struggle. And we're all going to screw up our kids. No matter what we do, we're going to mess them up in some way. We're going to over-protect, under-protect. Do too much, or not do enough. We'll let them have too much independence or we'll do everything for them until they're 35. Regardless of our best intentions we're going to screw up. So all we can do is try to make the best choices every day for our little ones.

And my parents did what they felt was right at the time. We didn't have "junk" food in the house as kids. So when my sister and I were old enough to make our own grocery shopping choices we ate our weight in Pringles and PopTarts. If we had these options at home as kids, would we have not craved them and devoured them like a hiker across the Sahara would attack a fresh water spring? I have no idea. My crystal ball is in the shop this week, so I can't look back and see what those choices would have changed in today's time. 

We had family meals, as far as I remember. I mean, I think we did. I don't really remember. I remember holiday meals and specific dishes my mom made, but when I was very young my mom went back to work full time, and I don't remember much of my family time as an adolescent. I remember my friends, my bike, the pool, and my room, but it don't remember much about family time. 

I guess we ate because it was time to eat. Breakfast before school. Lunch at school. Dinner before bed. It was just a thing that happened in the day. Nothing special, no fanfare, no thought as to what was happening other than whether or not it was something I wanted to eat or not. 

And I had very little say in it. Meals were put down in front of me and I ate them or not. Seasonings, ingredients, and taste profiles were never discussed or mentioned. We ate meatloaf or spaghetti or tuna burgers and I don't remember there ever being a choice of things available to individualize them. No red pepper flakes to make it spicy, no extra garlic to make it more garlicky, no A1 sauce or anything other than ketchup for meatloaf. We did have spicy mustard, but that was the extent of the "crazy" side of our pantry. Oh, Daddy had canned sardines. So I guess THOSE are more exotic than spicy mustard, but only because it's a food product that I have yet to find the desire to attempt to try.

So who knows if my attempt to teach my kids about foods will help or not. 

This past Sunday was an awesome day because my football team played at 1:00pm, then Mr. Saucy's team played at 4:00pm, so we planned on junk food for lunch and spaghetti for supper. I went to the store for tortilla chips and ingredients to make queso. I let Conner pick out a snack too. He originally wanted Cheetos, his favorite, but then chose Pringles. 

When we got home, he was so excited to kick off his shoes, open his container of chips and sit on the sofa. Because this is not something we do around here very often. Again, you'll look at pictures of Mr. Saucy and myself and think, "There is no way in hell you aren't eating chips and ice cream all day", but we really don't. We just eat twice as much real food as we should. Again... Back to that hunger issue that started today's rambling.

So... Who knows.  Choices are made. We feel we're doing what's best, but we never really know. We just have to do what our hearts and souls tell us is right and hopefully when the kids are in therapy in their 20's they'll find a way to forgive us for wanting only the best for out little parasites. 

Mommy needs a Time Out

Today was the first day that I've wanted to curl up in a ball, lock myself in a room, and cry because I just could not get through to my kids. They were hell-bent on doing anything and EVERYTHING to break the rules. So... After looking up a ton of articles on parenting, and how to deal with your angel child who has decided to become the devil himself, I realized a few things.

No one really knows what to do. And like everything else, there are a million experts who will all have different ideas. 

So, I regrouped and thought about what we needed here. What are we going to do to combat these 3yo and 5yo devil days? We're going back to basics.

There are only 5 rules.

1) No running in the house.

2) No jumping on the furniture.

3) No hitting.

4) Do what Mommy says the first time.

5) No interrupting.

GG (3) only has to remember and 100% abide by the first 3, as she's 3. Boo (5) has to remember and abide 100% by all 5, as he's 5.

In addition to this, we're stopping the hand spanks. We're stopping the, "I'm going to count to three before I..."  If any of the above 5 rules are broken, they just go straight to time out. No warning, no talking, no debating. Done and doner. If they spend all day in time out, so be it. That's their choice. 

And the cool thing, is that we had a real family talk about all of this tonight. Well, Honey, Boo, and I talked. GG went from lap to lap, flopped of the couch, twirled around, and joined in when prompted.  My Honey and I talked to the kids about their punishments, their behavior, our behavior, and how we're going to deal with misbehaving. And, to be honest, we have to be more consistent with our systems too. They need to learn that these basic rules are a black and white issue. I feel that these are clear, basic, and easily upheld rules and expectations. 

Stay silly and play with your kids.

Day 3

Yesterday was easier than I thought when I started writing in the wee hours of the morning. 

The hardest part of yesterday was deciding what to order from the Chinese take-out/delivery place. My Honey wanted delivery, and I couldn't find the menu for the Italian place that makes the HUGE salads. So we opted for Chinese. I searched my ap for different options and their calorie content, then went to google to check ingredients to be sure what I was picking would most likely be gluten free. 

I chose Moo Shu Pork, and asked for steamed white rice rather than the pancakes. It was VERY good. I didn't eat it all. I could have, and a part of me wanted to! But I realized I wasn't stuffed, nor was I still hungry, so I stopped. There was enough left for a snack later, but I threw it away. I don't HAVE to clean my plate. I don't have to save every bite of leftovers. 

My exercising was pushed back to the kids nap-time, and I LOVED that time alone. I read my book and enjoyed the "quiet". I even rode longer than the 30 minutes because I was so happily enjoying the book and the activity as a whole. 

I am having some abdominal pains as my body gets adjusted to eating differently. I hope this is temporary, and hope its a normal part of this cycle. 

Here's what I ate, drake, and did for exercise yesterday. I didn't add the time playing with the kids, the number of outfit changes they wanted, the dozens of puzzles, markers, crayons, and books I picked up off the floor, and didn't count the vacuuming in my activities. 

 

(Please feel free to take a look at a fellow Mom-Blogger's page. www.TinyStepsMommy.com)