I'm going to pour out the last of my sugar free pumpkin spiced latte coffee mate and my sugar free caramel macchiato creamers. I'm wondering if they are, in essence, gateway treats/poison that I'm starting every day with. Am I setting myself up for failure by grabbing an artificial substance and ingesting it...A LOT OF IT first thing in the morning? I'm drinking two or three cups of caffeinated coffee each morning with probably the equivelant of a quarter of a cup total of a sugar free, non-dairy creamer. Ew. Why? (Because it's delicious!) (Argh!) (You know it is!) (Look, damnit! Shut up!)
I'm really going to try to(!!!) focus on foods in their original, whole state. Within reason, of corse. I mean, I'm not going to bring home a whole cow for Christ's sake, the HOA would have a kiniption! But being smart about what we eat really is important to me. Being healthy is more important, and when I look at the fact that I'm pretty good about what I eat, but not good about how much I'm eating, or what and how much I drink, I realize I'm being rather hypocritical with myself. For instance... Why are there foods and beverages I won't let my children consume, but I happily guzzle and scarf up myself? Isn't that odd? And why were there things that I wouldn't dream of touching while pregnant, yet gladly jumped right back into once I was past breast feeding?
Just because I can make the decision to be stupid, doesn't mean I should decide to be stupid.
Know what I mean? But it's a constant battle with me though. An amazing war of fights between what tastes great, what's easy, what's available, what's healthy, and then that "easy" part comes swirling into play about ten or more times throughout the entire thought process.
Wait a minute... So that's the key, isn't it? I need to have things already here that I know I love, that are healthy and ready to eat right away, or prepped and ready to cook. The side of me that craves immediate gratification will need to be satisfied. Let me put it another way, she WILL be satisfied, whether I plan ahead or not. She's a demon, that one. I'm telling you, when she gets it in her head that she wants/needs something, there are few things to get in her way. I'm sure there's some deep seated emotional reason for this. There are psychiatrists frothing at the mouth wanting to get their hands on just one of my psychosis. And believe me, there is quite a stockpile in here.
A few givens here:
1) I love food.
2) I love wine.
3) I love to cook.
4) I need to lose weight.
5) I need my overall health to improve.
All of the above can very easily be taken care of with a little pre-planning (isn't that a given? I mean, how would one post-plan something?) and a little discipline.
I despise discipline. (Understatement)
But I like being in control. (Massive understatement)
Interesting inner struggle I have going on here... Do y'all have this going on inside too? Do you have the constant battle of the good side and the bad side? How do you satisfy the bad side while letting the good side maintain control? Right now my bad side is fully in control, and I have to find a way to make that switch.
Please share.
And in the meantime, stay hungry and play with your food.
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