This sucks

Pardon my French, but I'm pissed. I'm into day 5 of being a "good-girl". Watching calories and portions. Doing what society and dozens of years and doctors and scientists have said to do. I get on the scale this afternoon, and it hasn't moved. No lie. Oh, believe me I'm mad!

So, I marched downstairs, grabbed my "healthy" Greek yogurt and my "healthy" all natural granola, poured them together and ate it with a spoon. I didn't measure, but there was about a cup and a half of yogurt left in the tub, and I must have poured at least a cup of granola in there right on top. 

I didn't eat it all. Got full and my jaws started to hurt from the full onslaught of fury that came from my angry chewing. 

And, to top it off, I'm thinking that the stomach pains I was experiencing earlier in the week were from the granola, because they're back. There aren't any wheat ingredients listed, but it also doesn't say it's gluten free. 

I'm pissed! I'm still fat, now my stomach is bloated and hurting, my hormones are acting stupid, making me break-out, throwing my cycle into some freaky time-warp-system of its own, and did I mention I'm also catching a summer-time-cold, so I'm all kinds of happy and pleasant and cheerful at the moment. 

Argh! Is there no hope? No light at the end of this obese tunnel? Where, oh WHERE are the answers? Where is that winning lottery ticket that will allow me to simply get liposuction and be done with the misery of defeat?

Lord knows I've done research. Look...

I've read ALL of these. This is our kitchen table, and all of these books are ours. Everyone has an opinion, everyone is revolutionizing something, everyone is thinking outside of the box. 

The only one I have ever had success with is Atkins. In my late 20's I lost 60 pounds following a low-carb-lifestyle. And honestly, the reason I'm so heavy today is because I ate like a jackass when I was pregnant. 

But if you say "Atkins" out-loud you're shunned! "Oh my GOD! That's so unhealthy! That diet is terrible for you!"

No two bodies are the same. No two people will gain or lose the same. Finding what works for us is what matters. And this low-calorie shit is simply NOT WORKING for me. So the hunt is still on. I don't like how I feel right now. I'm grumpy, bloated, and my tummy hurts. 

I'm going to go curl up in bed and play Candy Crush.